Feb. 2nd, 2014

Yesterday I reviewed the abstracts for OHBM I needed to review (omg they get longer and more numerous every year!), played a bunch of silly puzzle games, ran 3 miles in 32 minutes (whoo hoo!), and went off shopping. I left my light coat in California over the back of a chair, the other weekend, and needed to replace it now that hopefully the weather is warming up here. So a nice time at Kohls, got some pants that fit as well, and some replacement sweaters for others I'd stained, etc.

I'm having a hard time making it to church, though, these days. First I was traveling, ok, fine you miss a few Sundays that way; but even when I'm home I find I'd rather plan to work on stuff--e.g. today I have to finish my slides for tomorrow, and write my annual review "teaching statement", and I'm overdue on some paper reviews. Plus, while during the snow days last week I did get some papers of my own nearly finished, I didn't get them actually finished. Etc. So there's external demands which make a plausible excuse for not going to church. But there's also the sense of not connecting. I've been going to the services, going to the breakfasts, making a point to sit with different people and chat over breakfast, and try to get a sense of the congregation, and I'm just not connecting for some reason. I haven't found anyone who makes me want to keep talking with them--it's all awkward small talk, or they have their own friends and things to discuss that I can't follow. I can't even remember their names week to week. So while the service is fine, and the preaching is ok, and the values of the church are great, I just don't have any personal reason to want to go in the morning. There's no one I am looking for and nothing that I have to be there for. They don't need readers or intercessors or ushers; they have a full roster. They have these same "foyer" groups that the church in ABQ had--not bible study or small groups, but just rotating dinner groups. And you know how much I love to cook (NOT) or to have other people eat my cooking (even less). So that's not all that attractive either, giving up a weekday night for the chance to make more awkward small talk.

I need to make an appt to talk to one of the clergy, I think--there's one in charge of adult ministry who I've touched base with on Sundays who is really nice, but we need some time during the week to really talk. That usually helps point me toward some way to get involved, so I feel like I have a stake in what's going on there and a reason to be there on Sundays. (I mean yes, there's all sorts of spiritual reasons, but seriously, they apparently aren't enough at this point to get me out of the house at 7:30 am on a Sunday.)



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